


Assassin's Creed 4 One-Shots

by DragonFanKaz



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag, Don't expect consistent updates, Edward Kenway gets drunk, F/M, KiddWay - Freeform, Thatch is forced to be a parent, assassins creed, one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28511502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonFanKaz/pseuds/DragonFanKaz
Summary: I love AC4 too much, and I need more Kiddway content, so I took it into my own hands. Also - I can't write angst to save my godamn life and i'm trying to fix that, so any feedback would be helpful! And if my angst is effective, please let me know!
Relationships: Edward Kenway/James Kidd | Mary Read
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	1. Two Edwards Have A Talk

**Author's Note:**

> So, i'm going to state the time and place t the beginning of each one-shot, as some may be modern day, some may be actually in Edward's time period, and stuff like that. Just thought I should let you know.  
> This one-shot is modern day, where Thatch is kind of a parental figure for Edward.

Edward realised it may not have been wise to chug an entire bottle of rum in under seven seconds, especially with his hilariously low tolerance. It took two sips for him to get drunk. An entire bottle? It was a miracle he could still speak properly. This was why he sought Thatch’s council, as the man was an expert alcoholic, if there was such a thing. 

Edward knocked on Thatch’s door, still managing to recall the code they’d developed. Three quick knocks, two slow, then two quick. 

Almost at once, the door flung open and Edward stumbled in and collapsed onto Thatch’s favourite chair that was conveniently empty. It was also warm. Blinking several times, Edward twisted to face the door where Thatch was standing, looking concerned. 

“How much did you drink?” He demanded. 

“One.” Edward’s speech was beginning to slur. 

“One shot? And you’re like this? Jaysus.” 

“One bottle.” 

Thatch stared at him, speechless at the young man, for a good long moment. Then he said: 

“How fast?” 

Edward thought for a moment about the cold glass against his lips and the dark liquid gushing down his throat. He raised two hands and extended all his fingers on one, and then two fingers on the other. 

“Seven seconds?” Thatch asked. 

Edward nodded and let his hands fall to his sides. He wanted to take a nap. 

“Why the fuck did you do that?!” Thatch yelled. 

Edward shrugged. Thatch glowered at this response and stormed over, grabbing Edward’s face and forcing him to look directly into his eyes. Thatch slapped him on the cheek, hard. Edward winced, but the pain wasn’t enough to jolt him out of his pitiful condition. He was certain he’d have a red hand mark for at least a day though. 

Thatch sighed. Very reluctantly, Thatch allowed their eyes met, brown on blue, and Thatch slowly and deliberately said: 

“Miss. Birch.” 

Edward’s eyes, which had been half open, shot open immediately and Edward wrestled himself from Thatch’s grip before launching himself off the armchair. Landing on the balls of his feet, Edward instantly shifted into a fighting stance that Thatch had taught him years ago. 

Thatch raised his hands and said in a calm voice: 

“You aren’t there anymore. It’s me, Thatch.” 

Edward blinked. He looked at Thatch, then at his surroundings, and then at his own clenched fists. His hands slowly dropped down by his sides but stayed bunched up into fists. 

Sinking to his knees, Edward began to sob. 

Thatch sighed and walked over to Edward; arms extended for a hug which Edward accepted. He still didn’t stand up meaning that his face was buried in Thatch’s leg, and his face was covered in tears, but Edward was no longer shaking in terror, and the pure adrenalin hit he’d experienced had shaken off the effects of the alcohol. 

“It’s alright Kenway. It’s alright.”


	2. Edward Discovers Something Interesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. Context wise - this is actually set in AC4's time period. When exactly? Idk. use your imagination. Again, this is Kiddway and it's from Mary's perspective. And feedback is always welcome.
> 
> P.S - This chapter was inspired by this fan art I found:  
> https://www.bing.com/images/blob?bcid=S43bfwb4BTwCydHVsc4.rFSiIg6C.....zg

Mary had noticed that Edward had been glancing over at her the entire time they were in the lively tavern. She didn’t exactly know why, but Mary knew it couldn’t be for a good reason. 

She took another swig of rum while watching the scoundrel out of the corner of her eye. Edward wasn’t talking to anyone. He was sitting on a stool with a whore on his lap – and no matter what the whore did, she wasn’t receiving his attention. Edward was entirely focused on Mary, and she couldn’t help but take a sort of pride from that. 

Mary pretended to survey the patrons of the bar while still watching Edward. To her despair, she realised he had a lovestruck look in his ocean blue eyes. She probably should have expected one of the men to have this reaction at some point, but out of all the treasure loving pirates – why was Edward Kenway the one? 

Unfortunately for Edward, he believed Mary to be a man. So, he was most likely very confused as to the messages his brain was sending him and potentially questioning his sexuality. Mary’s options were to either tell him, which was an awful idea, or to ignore it and watch Kenway deal with his emotions independently. 

Mary had only ever told Anne about her peculiar situation, and even she’d nearly let it slip out several times. Sure, Edward was probably the closest person she had to a friend after Anne, but was trusting a man who got drunk consistently to keep a life-threatening secret a good idea? She didn’t think so. 

Crossing her arms over her chest in what she hoped was a subtle manner, she couldn’t help but want to watch Edward fluster over de-tangling his emotions in front of her. 

Just to be mean, she looked Edward in the eyes and cocked her head. Edward didn’t need to be told twice and immediately shoved the whore off his lap – for which he was rewarded with a squeal – and came over like a puppy. 

To Mary’s amusement, Edward tried and failed to wrangle his golden blonde hair into a slightly less messy ponytail to look more presentable. Giving up on this, Edward leaned against the wall next to Mary. 

“Hey, Kenway.” 

“Hey, Kidd. Can I have that rum?” 

As always, he was straight to the point. Mary couldn’t help but smirk and pass it over to the pirate captain. 

“Cheers, mate.” 

Edward immediately chugged the entire bottle in a remarkably short amount of time and tossed it across the room. He winced when it landed with a loud crash on a whore’s head. Thatch laughed at the sight. 

“Sorry!” Edward cried to be heard over the noise. 

Mary covered her hand with her mouth to contain her laughter, but that didn’t stop her from sniggering. Unfortunately, Edward had incredible hearing and immediately whirled to face her. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Mary immediately blurted, desperately searching for an excuse that wouldn’t result in Edward touching her. 

“I-I just think it’s funny that the feared Captain Kenway says sorry to a random tavern wench.” 

Edward smiled, and once again Mary could see the infatuated look in his eyes – and the subtle confusion as he wondered what the actual fuck was happening to him. 

“I like to surprise people.” He said casually. Edward was impressive at hiding his emotions, but not quite good enough for someone of Mary’s calibre. 

“Where’d you pick up that talent?” Mary snorted. 

Mary headed over to the bar, and Edward trailed after her. Mary gestured to the overworked bartender for two shots of whiskey and Edward sat on yet another stool. Mary followed his example. 

“I did actually once serve in the navy. Obeying the rules and all that nonsense.” Edward answered unexpectedly. 

Mary stared at him. Out of all the backstories she’d created for the pirates she knew; she had not anticipated Edward being in the navy. This made her feel awful. The one pirate who was in love with her was the closest to being a decent guy and Mary was going to have to break his heart. 

Brilliant. 

“British, right?” She was stalling for time and Mary was praying it wasn’t obvious. 

“Mm. Not serving with the Spanish – I'll tell you that much.” 

The bartender finally poured their shots and slid them along the wooden counter. Edward grabbed the first one. 

And the second. 

Mary scowled at him as Edward passed the second shot of whiskey over to her. Snatching it from his outstretched hand, she downed it immediately. Edward watched him with amusement twinkling in his bold blue eyes. 

“You sure you don’t want another one?” He joked. 

Mary huffed. Edward smirked before tipping his head back and pouring his shot of whiskey into his throat. Setting the glass down once he was done, Edward’s movements were slightly delayed. 

She had to wonder what his alcohol tolerance was, as she knew for a fact that this was only his third drink of the night. 

Due to Edward’s drunken stupor, he continued to speak about his time in the navy without Mary’s prompting. 

“I was a privateer for a couple years. Then the war ended, and Thatch found me. Went from there.” 

Edward lazily pointed to Thatch, who was drinking a bottle of rum with several pistols strapped across his chest. If Anne was her friend, and Edward was close to that rank, Thatch would be slightly below Edward. Mary trusted him in a fight, and he was a bit of a paternal figure on occasion, but that was as far as it went. 

Mary looked past Thatch out the window behind him and could’ve sworn she briefly saw the glint of a musket bayonet in the moonlight. She blinked and it vanished. Deciding it was nothing, she turned back to Edward. However, she adjusted her hand, so it rested on – 

Her sword was missing. 

Her eyes darted around the tavern, but realised it was missing. Had she really managed to leave it at camp? Oh, this was spectacular. 

Edward may have been drunk, but he always was rather observant. As such, Mary wasn’t entirely surprised when the pirate tracked her movements. His eyes narrowed when he noticed her missing sword. 

He shuffled off his stool to face the tavern door, and that was when it burst open. 

The door crashed to the floor – splintering into shards of wood. The tavern was momentarily stunned by this sudden turn of events and therefore unprepared for twelve redcoats to come charging in from the night. 

Mary had been right after all. Someone had been stupid enough to keep the metal part of their weapon in the moonlight, and Mary had failed to use this to her advantage. 

Edward however – had plenty of weapons, and he hadn’t been caught off guard like any other patron. Mary was determined to help even without a weapon and therefore stood up immediately with her fists clenched. 

What she didn’t see coming was Edward’s hand abruptly shooting out and landing on her chest, stopping her from advancing towards the redcoats. 

“Careful, Kidd.” He warned. 

Edward didn’t remove his hand after a couple seconds, and then he tilted his head and glanced back at her. Mary knew she was fucked when Edward squeezed. She’d forgotten about the fact that Edward might have noticed her breasts despite her concealing outfit. 

Fortunately, he didn’t say anything that would destroy her reputation, but when his hand did drop to his sides Edward gave Mary a we-are-going-to-talk-about-this-later look. Mary personally wanted to run away screaming, but the more sensible part of her prevailed and instead she sat back down by the counter. 

The entire bar watched as Edward held a sword in his right hand and a pistol in his left. No one moved to help Edward as he effortlessly cut down every single redcoat without suffering a scratch. Mary saw that Thatch had a grin on his face as his student murdered twelve men, but she was more pre-occupied with what the hell she was meant to say to Edward Kenway.


	3. Edward Does Something Stupid For The Thousandth Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward is an idiot. Which isn't entirely unexpected, lets be real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this is in the 1700's. It's also from Thatch's perspective, so Edward is referred to as Kenway most of the time. This applies to 'James' as well. Once again, none of these are in chronological order as they are all entirely separate events. Hope you enjoy. (:
> 
> P.S - I got the idea to use a certain kind of animal in this one-shot from my_soliloquy_chamber

Edward Thatch didn’t think he’d ever get tired of seeing his fellow pirate Kenway chase a scrawny white kitten around the entirety of Nassau. Neither he nor Kidd had noticed it, but in the middle of their conversation on the porch of a tavern, Kenway’s head had tipped to the left slightly. 

Kidd was more observant than Thatch and therefore opened his mouth to inquire what was going on, but Kenway had leaped out of seat with inhuman speed and raced towards a tiny hole in the wall. 

Right before he crashed headfirst into the wall, a white streak tore out of the hole and Kenway must have been expecting this as he effortlessly put a foot on the old but solid wood wall and used it like a springboard, chasing the white streak through the streets. 

Neither Thatch nor Kidd had moved from their seats, and several townsfolk stopped what they were doing to watch the infamous pirate Captain Kenway chase a white blur, which had slowed down enough for Thatch’s older eyes to see it was a cat. 

Thatch had to concede that this wasn’t entirely unusual behaviour for someone like Kenway, but he did have to question how Kenway had even noticed the cat’s presence. Kidd appeared to be thinking deeply about a similar thing, and then abruptly leaned back in his seat with a satisfied smirk on his face and his arms behind his head. 

He was about to ask Kidd what he’d figured out when he suddenly heard rather loud curses from behind a building. Apart from the fact that they were obnoxiously loud, the creative word choices told the two of them all they needed to know. 

In sync, the pirates rose out of their chair and stamped down the steps towards the noise. Kidd was younger and therefore rounded the corner first, screeching to a halt with a look of blatant surprise and confusion at the scene before him. Then it slowly morphed into understanding, and then the unmistakeable desire to laugh. 

Knowing that Kidd’s reaction didn’t bode well, Thatch hurried over and looked over the situation that Kenway had created. 

The good news was that Kenway had the fluffy white kitten in his possession. The bad news was that he appeared to have collided with a wench from the nearby tavern in his haste, and she did not look happy. 

In a moment of pure instinct, Thatch decided he’d rather face down a man o’ war than the pure unrelenting wrath of a woman. Then Thatch remembered that, luckily for him, Kenway was the one in this situation. 

The wench’s flaming red hair was a rare sight anywhere, and her services were most likely in demand. Knowing Captain Kenway as well as he did, Thatch wouldn’t have been surprised if he would’ve been one of her customers. 

But considering that Kenway had a guilty look on his face and an all too telling piece of fabric that looked like it belonged in a wench’s dress, Thatch guessed that it wouldn’t be happening any time soon. 

The tavern wench, fuming, began trying to punch Kenway. Ironically, Kenway – who was a self-serving pirate – was ducking to avoid the scrawny innocent kitten being hit, and in the process getting punched in the nose twice. Kenway dropped the now partially crimson piece of cloth onto the street. 

Stumbling back, now bleeding, Kenway saw Thatch and Kidd. He gratefully smiled at their presence, held up the kitten triumphantly like it were a prize and began to make his way over to them. The whore saw Thatch’s collection of flintlocks and Kidd’s sword and decided that she’d had enough. 

The civilians went on their way, muttering about how they should’ve gotten more of a show. Thatch and Kidd stood there patiently, waiting for Kenway to approach them. 

Kenway was leaking blood from his nose and his left ear, but he was beaming nonetheless. He passed over the white kitten to Kidd, who somehow had chunks of meat already in her hand that she was tearing up into bite sized pieces so the kitten could eat. 

Deciding not to question it, Thatch turned to Kenway. 

“Are you okay, Kenway?” 

“I’ve suffered worse, mate.” 

“I know that,” Thatch insisted, “But are you sure you don’t want to see a doctor or something?” 

“Did I see a doctor when I got stabbed in the stomach three times? No. Therefore, I will be fine Thatch. Stop treating me like a child, okay?” 

Thatch could read Kenway like a book. The pirate clearly appreciated the affection Thatch was giving him. Maybe he’d lacked a proper father figure as a child, and now Thatch was his substitute. Worse things had happened. 

“Compared to me and Kidd, you are a child, mate. You’re younger than both of us.” 

Kenway blinked, before turning to face Kidd who was currently stroking the kitten while cradling it in his arms. He turned back to Thatch, confused. 

“I know you’re older, but Kidd doesn’t look that old. Maybe a couple years age difference, but not drastic. Right?” 

“Ask him.” Thatch suggested. 

Kenway eyed Thatch warily, not liking the almost too-casual tone. But Kenway trusted Thatch, so Kenway reluctantly wiped his nose clean – Kidd liked all the pirates to have decent hygiene – and uttered the words that would condemn him. 

“Kidd, how old are you?” 

Kidd didn’t respond for a moment. Then he turned to Thatch with a sickly-sweet smile on his face. 

“Could you please watch the cat?” 

Thatch accepted the bundle of fluff and quickly took two steps backwards to disassociate himself with Kenway. Kenway, now having realised what Thatch had done, turned tail and fled down the streets of Nassau. 

“Good luck Kenway!” Thatch shouted. 

“FUCK YOU!” Was what he received in reply. 

Thatch didn’t do Kenway the service of arguing back, as he was too amused by Kidd storming after Kenway. Kenway was sprinting at top speed, taking no chances for Kidd to catch him. As such, Kidd was falling behind. 

And then Edward Kenway decided to be himself. 

Pulling the dick move was his speciality, and therefore Thatch wasn’t at all surprised when Kenway turned around and began running backwards to taunt Kidd face-to-face. 

Unfortunately for Kenway, running backwards was significantly slower than running normally. Kidd was smart and quickly recognised this. So, Captain Kidd piled on the speed. Captain Kenway opened his mouth to taunt Kidd, before realising how much he’d stuffed up. 

In what had to be the funniest thing that had ever come from Kenway’s mouth, he let out an extraordinarily high-pitched squeal that made him sound like a woman rather than a man. 

Then Kidd tackled him to the ground before Kenway had a chance to do anything else and began beating Kenway’s face into the earth. Thatch petted the cat softly until it gradually fell asleep to the sound of Edward Kenway screaming curses.


End file.
